The Curse of Jessica Rabbit

Those of you that know me are aware of the sorry state of affairs that is my car. I drive a 1994 3000GT, which is a "sportscar" made by Mitsubishi. It's red, very swoopy-looking, and relatively uncommon. Therein lies the problem.
I've had it for 2 years, and it's spent a significant percentage of that time in the shop, while chanting mechanics light fires under the hood with my money, hoping to appease the demons that possess my Mass Airflow Sensor. It was great when I got it. I had a shiny new girl-attractor, it had a manual transmission, and things were good.
Then I named it.
I name all of my vehicles. Some are merely descriptive while others are personality-based. My first car ever was a metallic raspberry 68 VW Beetle. It was actually a prelude to the car-naming phase, since it was so overtly homosexual I didn't think naming it ANYTHING would help. I sold it to a girl who refused to full depress the clutch when changing gears, despite my very clear instructions and finally, demands that she do so. It blew up shortly after.
Come to think of it, this car was my first vehicle fire. I didn't want to waste a fire extinguisher, so I put it out with the hose when I got home. I really like driving this car.
My next car was an 87 jeep cherokee on loan from my uncle. It was a special model, and had "CHEROKEE CHIEF' stencilled very large on the sides. I dubbed it "The mad jeep". This was a great car. I pushed it a lot until we got the radiator flushed, then it ran like a champ. It had no AC, which in south florida was a major source of amusement and the radio would work until the engine warmed up, then make sounds like a dying kitten. This vehicle floats, as we discovered during one of the many minor hurricanes we had a few years ago.
Next I had an 83 Ford F-150 with 320k miles. Think about vehicles produced in the early 80s, then read the mileage number again. This truck's peculiarities led me to name it "The Whore of Babylon", but I would call it "The Mistress" when in polite company. It had AC, which entitled it to a good deal of tolerance. It was also surprisingly fast, which was good because it was too heavy to push far and it helped to be at a high speed so as to coast as far a possible.

I know you don't care about these cars, and wish I would get to the point, but this is essential to the story.

Ah, Ford trucks. I like them so much I got another. 1981 Ford F-250 with 230k miles. This beast was s l o w, but it had intermitted wipers, and 100k less miles. I'm moving up. We still have this truck, but it has a bent connecting rod and tops out at about 35 miles an hour. I kinda miss driving it. I named it "Helen" as in "Hell on wheels". I know, I'm sorry. Never again.
As a side project to the trucks, we have a 1976 Jeep CJ5 V-8, which is quite possible the most dangerous vehicle on earth. I can touch the front and back wheels with my outstretched arms, and this thing is taller than the F-250. It goes in a straight line faster than the 3000GT, but turning and stopping will result in the immediate death of both back-seat passengers. Naturally I named it "The Death Jeep" and gave rides to local children whenever I could get the brakes to work. One day, it refused to move, and so it sits dangerously in the backyard, awaiting a new generation of victims. I had to push this car up the only hill within 20 miles of my house, but that's a story for another time.

And so we come to my vehicular salvation, my 3000GT. After all the previous vehicles, I was dumbstruck with the beauty of my new crimson corvette-killer(in my dreams). I named it "Jessica". The car went insane the next day. For the next month or so, Jessica received lobotomies, electro-shock treatment, and various Santeria hexes in an effort to fix the car. LOTS of money and curses later, it was still broken and it now had a fine layer of brake dust firmly obscuring the windows. I scrubbed the dust off the spots I use to see, and tried one final mechanic who fixed it immediately. I was overjoyed when the car ran for a blessed, uninterrupted week, then broke again. It is currently in the shop. It is also for sale. I'll make a deal. It still looks nice, and It's named "Jessica".